Posted by Penny on 9/26/2009, 1:51 am, in reply to "Depression...."
70.191.194.45
Oh Sweetie,
This is a common issue that I and lots of the girls here have been through and still battling. I know how hard this is and please don't belittle your feeling cause some of the others (like me) are going through rough times too. Your problems are very real, and need validation and understanding just as much as anyone else. Your side effects are bad, worse than allot of girls here and you need our support. Please don't ever be embarrased or think a problem is too trivial to share. It's not.
Feelings are never right or wrong they just are and need to be addressed and worked through and that is what we are all here for.
I'm always afraid when I post my dramas and sagas that I will make you other girls feel like you don't have the right to complain about your own problems but you absolutely do have every right to be here and be heard and helped too!!!
We're all here for you to help you through them just as we do for everyone else. That's what sharing is all about. And it does help us all to share with each other. I feel better myself when I can jump in and help someone get through a tough time.
Your tx plan is the absolute hardest one out there to make it though and after my third A/C I felt just like you did, ready to give up. It didn't seem worth all the horrid nauseas, fatigue and general icky feelings.
I wish I had a majic trick to take it all away and make you feel better but I don't. The best thing you can do for yourself right now is just be very kind to your body. Give it lots of rest, love and attention and be forgiving of yourself. It's ok to spend the week in bed. Your body needs the rest. Kick back and watch some funny movies or TV shows, read a good book and escape anyway you can.
You only have one more to go and it will be the worst one yet, but you will get through it and then things will slowly start to get better. I promise. In just a few more weeks this will all be a horrible nightmare and things will start to look up again. I promise.
I know you've said you've tried all the nausea drugs but have you tried them in combo. Talk to your onc again about which ones you can take together. Ativan along with Anzemet maybe. Please do check first before trying this though.
I also found that allot of my nausea was coming from acid reflux and having an empty stomach. The OTC produts didn't help. My onc wrote a script for Protonix and it was amazing how much that helped. Just like when you're pregnant, keep some crackers by the bed and eat them before you get up. Drink ginger tea or suck on ginger candies. It really does help to keep the acid down if you can keep something on your stomach at all times. Just make sure it's something bland that won't cause the acid to increase. It also helped me to sleep in my recliner. Propped up so that the acid in my stomach could not creep up into my throat.
As for the depression, you're doing the right thing right now. Talking about it. Get back on here and tell us all about it. It really helps to get all those feelings out of your head and onto paper or the board. Then you can go back and look at it written out in front of you and see what it really looks like and start to deal with it. At least it works that way for me. Some people need a face to face sounding board and that's ok too. Grab a good girlfriend or professional councelor and spill it all out to them. The more we bottle this stuff up the worse it gets. Once it's all out on the table it can be dealt with.
Just remember too Jen, this is only temporary. A few months out of your life for the change to have the rest of your life back without cancer. I won't tell you that it will be like it never happened cause it won't, this will change you but for most girls it's really a change for the better. We learn to appreciate things allot more. We learn not to sweat the small stuff so much and find that we are more daring to go out and do all the things we've always been to busy or scared to try. After going through this, everything else is a cakewalk.
Please keep posting when you feel up to it and even when you really don't. It helps. Believe me. You've got all these great gals just waiting to offer you hugs, love and understanding. We're here for you honey and together, we'll get you through this.
I'll be saying some extra prayers for you Honey. And if you want my email, just ask. I'll be more than happy to be your sounding board. I do understand what you're going through and remember those days well even though they were about five years ago. There is a light at the end of this dark tunnel and we're walking beside you holding your hand and it won't be long before you begin to see that little spark of light at the end.
Hugs,
Penny
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