[ Post a Response | Commitmentphobia ]
From Commitment Phobe to "I
Do"!
A strategic ten-step plan for winning your CP's heart and
getting that long overdue and much deserved commitment!
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Posted by kk on 2/20/2007, 1:41 am, in reply to "yes and so will you" This is a great post! You also might be surprised, Annie - he may not be as OK as you think. I know you don't feel this way right now, but he actually has a lot more to lose than you do. You are putting up with this out of fear. Once you start believing in yourself, you will see you have so much to gain by getting out of this. HE is the one who will lose out because he has his cushey life with you sticking around no matter what. Something my first boyfriend in high school said to me will always stick with me - we were together for about 2 1/2 years and it was a decent relationship until the last six or so months - he was blowing me off - rather go out with the boys than with me. I cried, I b###hed, I threatened, but I still hung in there. Until one day I had enough and left him - FOR GOOD. At that point, it was WRITTEN IN STONE - there was NO MORE TALKING about it - I was gone. He begged me to come back, he even tried to commit suicide - his family even begged me to go back. I didn't care WHAT he did, I was NOT going back. He told me that he treated me the way he did because he knew he could get away with it. Because I cried wolf so much and never followed through, it gave him the impression that I would ALWAYS be there - he could treat me however he wanted and I would never leave him. Well, he was wrong. I bet your boyfriend feels the same way - that you would never leave him so there really is no incentive for anything to change. All he has to do is put up with some complaining every now and then, turn on his sweet side and he'll have you back to where he wants you. You'll be OK. I think you'll find the strength one day. You're in the right direction - you just have to face your fears and find out WHAT EXACTLY you are so afraid of. I think you will find that once you do pull out of this for good, you'll find strength within you that you didn't even realize you had.
"Yah, he'll be fine without you, but YOU will be FINER. You just need to believe this."
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From Commitment Phobe to "I
Do"!
A strategic ten-step plan for winning your CP's heart and
getting that long overdue and much deserved commitment!
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