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From Commitment Phobe to "I
Do"!
A strategic ten-step plan for winning your CP's heart and
getting that long overdue and much deserved commitment!
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Posted by kk on 2/19/2007, 8:40 am, in reply to "What his mother said--irritated" But the question I would ask YOU - is did you blame HIM for what his mother said? Were you pissy towards HIM because you thought there was more to it and wanted to punish him? I'm not trying to put the blame onto you, but this is something I would ask yourself. Because I can see how insecurities can cause that to happen. And you are even asking "why does she have such a hold" - your boyfriend didn't bring her up. I do think it is weird that she was brought up at all, but don't put it on HIM. Besides that, to me it seems like he doesn't know how to deal with his emotions on a mature level. Families push buttons - in a lot of people. But he pushed you completely out by not communicating what exactly it was. Maybe there was something inside of him that was too painful to talk at the moment. To me - it sounds like your relationship is in serious jeopardy. I would really think about what you want out of this relationship, if you are happy and if you want to go any further. To me, it also sounds like he may be feeling the same way you do and questioning the relationship. You can just keep on going like you are and eventually it WILL end, or you can have a heart-to-heart and try to get to the bottom of what you are feeling and what he is feeling. Good luck.
I do think it was insensitive of his mother to bring up the ex, but I agree with him, I don't think she meant anything by it. I think sometimes people are clueless and say stupid sh*t. I've been in this situation - but even WORSE. I remember when my exhusband and I first started dating - we were only together a few months and a big group of us were out to dinnner. There was one person in between his mother and I and she was talking outloud - it wasn't something she was whispering, but she went on to say how much she liked his exgirlfriend and she didn't know what happened and wondered why they weren't together anymore and how perfect she thought she was for him. And the person in between us said something like "well he's with her now" (meaning me) and she gave this kind of derogatory look. It was so friggen RUDE - right in front of me - I remember it as clear as day.
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From Commitment Phobe to "I
Do"!
A strategic ten-step plan for winning your CP's heart and
getting that long overdue and much deserved commitment!
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