[ Post a Response | Commitmentphobia ]
From Commitment Phobe to "I
Do"!
A strategic ten-step plan for winning your CP's heart and
getting that long overdue and much deserved commitment!
|
Posted by Sally on 2/18/2007, 9:47 am The writers point: impossible to EVER quantify/identify because it's really just two people whose neurotic sides can live in harmony with the others! No amount of studying can predict neurotic compatibility. She throws out eharmony's 20 page/900 question interview, that's suppossed to ensure they will find your perfect personality match. eharmony doesn't use photos, lining you up with soulmate based on mathematical matching only. She quoted ex-eharmonians, " my matches were incredibly unattractive" " my matches weren't even close to anyone I would be interested in" etc. But then goes on to say she believes the real 'secret' is in agreeing on all the little things. People who attract eachother, stay together, simply agree on ALL the little things. Agree with compatible neurotic sides,,, DISAGREE with its JUST the little things. If that is so just expand interview to 100 page/3000 questions. You will uncover if clothes older than 5 yrs can be given away, is it permissable for dirty dishes to remain in sink more than 10 minutes, how long do cancelled checks need to be saved, do you forget to turn lights off more than twice/week etc. Marriages/relationships NEVER break up over the little things. They do break up over clashing neurotic sides! My 28 yr old daughter just broke up with b/f of 4 yrs. extremely nice, honest, loyal, loving, guy. WHY did they break up? He is VERY introverted & quiet, came from rurual town, his father deserted family when he was 16, never seen/spoken to him since. His mother found b/f ,moved out of state afterwards. He had no encouragement, zero help financially, no direction, not very motivated though starting college now @ 31. He could be moody and on depressed side. His ideal life would be the two of them in simple little house, quiet, low-key, small town. My daughter has excelled at job, been promoted, moved to major SW city, self-confident, outgoing, All of their plans/friends are her plans/friends. When out socially he barely participates, withdrawn, doesn't dance etc. its just a struggle for him. She would become uncomfortable FOR HIM! He never sent her flowers once, didn't do a lot of little things she really would have liked, but that isn't why she broke up w/him. They just were too different. He has a broken side,likely she does too as result of her struggles with her father. Over-achieving to prove her worth to him, gain his approval. He measures EVERYTHING on status,achievement, income. I think, unconsciously she picked her b/f because he was the antithesis of her father! In summeray someone needs to develop a 'neurotic side' questionaire! Problem is to get ACCURATE neurotic profile, must include interviews with: all living family members, both close & distant, ex's, both legal & illegal, childhood friends & enemies, ALL work associates since high school, neighbors, former landlords, casual, serious or meaningless acquaintenes, therapists past & present, lawyers, family pets, hairdressers & manicurists, yoga instructor, mailman, and absolutely anyone who has done work on your house, major or minor! We then take these 10,000 responses and develop a a mathematical algorithim to find your match, about 2-4 years from now!
I just read a funny editorial in Sunday paper about eharmony setting up a 'lab' to study key to attraction/lasting relationships.
Message Thread:
« Back to thread
Responses are not allowed!
From Commitment Phobe to "I
Do"!
A strategic ten-step plan for winning your CP's heart and
getting that long overdue and much deserved commitment!
Create your own free message board!