[ Post a Response | Commitmentphobia ]
From Commitment Phobe to "I
Do"!
A strategic ten-step plan for winning your CP's heart and
getting that long overdue and much deserved commitment!
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Posted by lou on 2/16/2007, 5:57 am, in reply to "Re: Pia Mellody" 'She lavished love and attention on my brother, but remained cold and distant towards me. Which she continues to do to this day as a parent of two adult children in their forties.' The above paragraph leapt out the page at me. I experienced the very same thing as a child and adult and thought for years there was something lacking in me. Miss Realtor What Lorelei suggests is spot on. Start a commitment to LEARN ABOUT YOURSELF and start NO CONTACT with the man in your life. If you have been a victim of narcissistic abuse in childhood you need to extreme care of yourself. Learn the signs of narcissism and be hyper vigilent about who you let into your life. At the risk of overwhelming you with book titles Here's another one. Brown N W (2001)'Children of the Self Absorbed: A Grownup's Guide to Getting Over Narcissistic Parents' New Harbinger Publications Inc, Oakland, CA. My advice is to SHUT OUT the CP and read the books! Good Luck Lou
Hi Miss Realtor
I have recently found out that devaluation and overvaluation of siblings in a family is a classic pattern of a narcisstic parent. They see children as extenstions of themselves (not individuals). If a child unknowingly threatens their VERY FRAGILE defenses by expressing their own will (which is a normal development for a 4/5 year old)they can become a target of the Nar parent - and the psychological attack NEVER stops. Games continue to be played out into late adulthood. Your brother perhaps did not threaten her in this way and she felt comfortable with him but don't be fooled by the 'love' she lavished on him. If she is narcissistic her capacity to REALLY love is very limited.
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From Commitment Phobe to "I
Do"!
A strategic ten-step plan for winning your CP's heart and
getting that long overdue and much deserved commitment!
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