[ Post a Response | Commitmentphobia ]
From Commitment Phobe to "I
Do"!
A strategic ten-step plan for winning your CP's heart and
getting that long overdue and much deserved commitment!
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Posted by Miss Realtor NYC on 2/15/2007, 4:42 pm, in reply to "Pia Mellody" As for why I allowed this for 12 years. Like most things that affect most of us, it stems back to childhood. I was raised by a single mother, who was traumatized by the end of a very short and hastened marriage at 20 years old. She gave birth to me nine months into the marriage and to my younger brother fifteen months later. She lavished love and attention on my brother, but remained cold and distant towards me. Which she continues to do to this day as a parent of two adult children in their forties. She had no empathy or nurturing skills to raise a young girl, already suffering without a father around. As a child, I believed that if I was just that much more loving, and better and perfect that my mother would love me. And that same behavior came into play in this relationship. My mother wounded me deeply and yet as an adult, I forged a relationship with her -- mainly because I suppressed all of the hurt and rejection I felt, in order to have a relationship with her. I was successful until last Christmas, when her "act" resurfaced. I now spend my Christmases alone and I speak to her only when she calls me. In the beginning of my relationship with this man, he was very kind and fun to be around, and at the end, he was just a selfish-damaged ass. And no amount of love and kindness could ever have changed that. I realize that now. I'm happy that I recognize the origin of why I would get involved for so long with a man like this. It will help me to keep in mind to avoid men like this like the plague! Thank you so much for your kind words.
Hi Lorelei,
Thank you for your insight and advice. I have cut him off completely, and I will continue to do so.
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From Commitment Phobe to "I
Do"!
A strategic ten-step plan for winning your CP's heart and
getting that long overdue and much deserved commitment!
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