[ Post a Response | Commitmentphobia ]
From Commitment Phobe to "I
Do"!
A strategic ten-step plan for winning your CP's heart and
getting that long overdue and much deserved commitment!
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Posted by Lorelei on 2/13/2007, 5:02 pm As a "recovering" codependent, I will tell one and all that no matter our CONSCIOUS awareness of the emotional unbalance that is codependency...speaking from experience, I believe our subconscious has us continually seeking out romantic codependent liaisons despite steps taken toward recovery. I say this, b/c having read every book OUT there on codependence and love addiction...I can't help but ACCEPT my participation in REPEATEDLY seeking out men who END UP being emotional UNAVAILABLE. Sally described my ex-boyfriend (Mr. Divorce) and my relationship to a "t". What started out as a friendship, where I had my power, and he was respectful.....turned into him controlling the relationship on many levels and me striving to PROVE that I was worthy to be trusted and dated (unlike his ex-wife, who had left his 23 year marriage). Hey...it was difficult to admit that I was repeating a BAD dating pattern. And I thought it was just "luck of the draw" that I kept finding myself attracted to emotional destitutes. BUT....in the end, I did some reading that explained my subconscious attraction to emotionally unavailable men. And because I have lived the same Love Avoidant/Love Addict (that would be me!) relationship with three different men now, I have come to realize that its up to me to take MORE time getting to understand why I am attracted to certain men BEFORE I contemplate associating myself with them in a romantic setting. Hard lesson to learn. But, codependency is REALLy an emotional addiction. I keep playing out my relationship with an abusive parent (my Mother) with men! Does this sound familiar to any of you? Lorelei
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From Commitment Phobe to "I
Do"!
A strategic ten-step plan for winning your CP's heart and
getting that long overdue and much deserved commitment!
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