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Lisa, I am an almost 6 year survivor myself, and I have often felt as you do. Waiting for the other shoe to drop. As time has gone by, though, I don't think about it so much because there are so many other things that have happened, good and bad. I try to stay busy...I work, plus we're involved at church and some service organizations. I think it's important to do things that you really enjoy, and you'll find one day that you didn't think of BC that day. I wonder if you expected too much of the yoga and meditation? Maybe just the fact that you were doing it to take your mind off BC made you think of it even more? Like I said, do the things you love and the peace will most likely follow, without you even realizing it.