[ Post a Response | Breast Cancer Success Stories ]
Posted by Louise on 12/26/2005, 6:03 am A year ago I wrote asking to hear from ladies with positive lymph-nodes, believing that my four positives was a sure death sentence… Here is a little great news to start off the New Year. I had DCIS, which became stage 3 nine month later in 2005. Chemo every two weeks (Taxotere and AC all in one shot), a bi-lateral mastectomy at the same time as a double hysterectomy to reduce the hormones in my blood stream, then…Radiation. I would tremble when I read articles about my skin getting old, and loosing my sex drive, and my “femininity”… Well, a year later, I now keep my hair short and a nice cool blond, since everyone loved it after it grew back and my skin is glowing inside out. I turned forty, and feel great! I choose not to have reconstruction because of the poor results after radiation; I choose clothes carefully, and emphasize my features. Like whitening my teeth to have a brighter smile, changed my hair color to a really cute blond that makes my eyes pop, wear sexy stockings and shoes. And most of all, I took time to rediscover myself. I realize I may only have ten years, or fifteen, or thirty fiveJ but I am going to be the most amazing and wonderful women I can be for the rest of my life. With my new confidence, and rediscovering the love I have for ME, the attention I get from men is impressive. I figured if I am intersted in a man who is not interested in me after he realizes I have no breast, then he is not the guy for me! Well, I met a wonderfully successful, gorgeous guy, with a heart of gold who meet me though my work in breast cancer fundraising. He says he was attracted to my confidence, and that I shouldn’t worry about not having breast because the rest is amazing… Well, that’s a message of hope for you ladies. Not all men are breast obsessed. Don’t worry about the scars! If he’s giving you a miserable time because if it, then you have choices… You deserve the best. I have taken up running, and I am the happiest and healthiest I have ever been. (If someone would have said that I would run 5 miles a year ago, I would have said they’re completely mad. First I walked, then one day, I just built up my endurance.) On the topic of endurance, I changed my life completely. My husband and I called it quits; the cancer made it clear we both had dreams and pretending was no longer an option; we were taking on a different journey. (I realize now he did me a favor by asking to end the marriage, I never had the nerve too) He moved to the country and I to the city, and we are still good friends, and loving parents to our nineteen year old. I look amazingly good considering the hell I have been through. Ladies, a year a go I though I would not make it to the next Christmas, now I am planning on buying a tiny house on my own and feel terrific! Last scans all NED! So there you go. Some days I get scared, and I just face my fears and fight like hell and stay positive! Find a dream to anchor yourself on and don’t give in to the fear! Life is beautiful even after a bi-lat mastectomy! ps. I still have the insperational replies of survival I received last yea, posted in my office...from the wonderful ladies who are 8, and 13, and 4 years out with positive nodes. I will be writing in every year for a very, very long time! Love and happiness to all of you... Louise (taking Tamox for 2 more years then Arimidex.)
24.202.12.88
Greetings Ladies,
(I keep a pain journal and do not panic unless the pain is for more than 4 weeks, as I have a lot of arthritis and pain in general on some days.)
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