Posted by Sophia
on 3/10/2009, 8:29 am, in reply to "Re: How honest should I be about my feelings?"
Allen,
There is an obsessive factor we go through after we find out that we have been betrayed. I believe that it is part of the symptomatology of "post-traumatic stress disorder" that betrayed people often suffer from. I could never get enough information from my husband after his affair. I wanted to be a fly on the walls of their meeting places.
But, the need to find out the "WHY" is quite important because, it offers us the security of it never happening again. If we discover the "why" and correct it, then the marriage will be protected. So, all this to say that it is quite valid for you to try and discover her "whys'. If she needs help, please go to an excellent marital therapist to help her find out the answers. Therapy will certainly help both of you and the marriage.
Sophia
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