Posted by Allen on 3/6/2009, 6:02 pm, in reply to "Re: How honest should I be about my feelings?"
I'm the sort of person who really needs the details, because otherwise, what I imagine happening is far worse than the reality. What's been so hard to deal with is that even though she can give me the details of how and where, she really can't tell me WHY she made that choice. She says it was over 4 years ago and she just can't remember why she decided that's what she wanted to do. Not having an explanation for these enormous feelings of betrayal has made this so difficult to deal with. She is extremely remorseful for what happened, and that helps tremendously, but I just wish she could tell me the why's. Is it reasonable to believe that she really doesn't know why she chose to do what she did, even if this was more recent? We've talked a lot about it, but when I try to ask questions about why did you do this or that, what were you thinking, etc, and she can't answer those, then I get frustrated and start bringing up the details that she has told me and then we both just get mad and frustrated.
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