Posted by Lily on 2/11/2009, 10:30 am, in reply to "Re: How to get the images out of my head"
Just because this A happened 5 years ago does not make you that far along in recovery. You are only 7 weeks into this disclosure to the shock, pain and anger are very fresh. It sounds like your W may have been feeling remorse for a long time so that is a plus.
Nothing you did or did not do was the cause of her going outside the marriage for sex or emotional needs. Having only been with one man before you is certainly not what caused this either.
Having the OM nearby is a major issue and will slow down your recovery. I was in the same position of being in a very small community and being faced with the OW all the time. I finally decided I was more of a threat to her than she was to me, so I would just stare her down whenever we ended up at the same event. I could have caused her great embarrassement and she knew that so she started scuttling away whenever we happened to end up at the same place. Once you gain that power of realizing what a pathetic person the OM is, you will do better.
I would suggest trying therapy together so you both gain some insight into how this happened and also will get to know one another better.
