Posted by Joy on 1/24/2009, 11:16 am, in reply to "Staying in a Marriage"
It was never worthwhile. It left deep scars. Yes, we heal, but deep down a scar remains. We can rebuild our future. But, the pain of the past was a reality. We can learn to accept it over time. The pain fades and becomes easier to suppress.
We can build new, happy memories. Our children and family will recover. They may do better because we made the effort to keep their lives more stable.
We learn just how weak and fragile humans can be. In hindsight, we realize the need to protect ourselves and loved ones from our weaknesses.
Yes, initially, the pain was intense and it was hard to ever imagine that the pain would fade. I learned what 'heartbreak' really meant! This heart had a horrific wound that hemorrhaged constantly! Slowly, it began to heal. For awhile, it was just a small wound that trickled. Eventually, it closed, but a scar will always remain. From time to time, that scar aches still when something triggers those memories.
It's just a reality. Can't change the past. I figured that I was going to have to deal with the pain of his betrayal with or without my spouse.
At least I knew what our baggage was! I figured a new relationship would bring it's own baggage, I wasn't a kid anymore. So, I have made my own boundaries clear. I can't control my husband, I can only make it clear as to what consequences will occur if he betrays that trust again.
While an affair maybe the final crisis that forces one into making changes, it is NEVER worth it!
Message Thread:
« Back to thread