Posted by S on 1/24/2009, 1:01 am, in reply to "Re: How To Survive An Affair"
Lily -
Looking back ... Certainly Family is a very good reason for staying in a marriage, after your spouse has had an affair.
Of course at the moment of Discovery ... one is trying to survive ... and at that moment ... it is hard to think of the Family, or anything else for that matter.
But looking back ... the Family didn't cause the extreme pain ... it was just a very stupid mistake by a spouse.
I must agree with the counselors ... THERE IS NEVER a reason for an affair. There are alternatives. Hovever immediately after the Discovery ... often the trapped spouse seems to want to blame everyone else for the affair and any other stupid mistake they ever made.
In many cases the wondering spouse would never considering marrying the person they had the affair with, howvere they are willing to throw away their whole family existence on a few moments of pleasure, or in my spouse's case ... a few years of pleasure.
Assuming abuse ... or some other extreme things aren't happening in a marriage ... I think once a person can ... they should think of the overall effect a divorce will have on the entire Family.
Good point Lily.
S
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