Posted by sophia
on 1/13/2009, 8:05 pm, in reply to "Going Crazy!"
Hello,
You asked is it too late to save your marriage. I believe that it is not, but only if BOTH of you are ready to do ALL the work - the complete job. All the work includes first finding all the reasons for his betrayals, total honesty about them, which includes telling you everything that you want honestly. Then, his life must become an open book to you. You must know all his contacts and have access to all his means of communication. He must cut off all contacts with past infidelities and may have no improper contacts or conversations forever. You both must learn to communicate successfully with each other - openly, respectful and honest. You two must always put your marriage first and foremost. There are many other rules to recovery, but probably most important is that you go to the most professional marital therapist (not your personal one)that you can find and go to therapy for as long as it takes. There is a website called www.dearpeggy.com that lists the best therapists all accross the country who deal with marital infidelity.
My marriage had many infidelities by both of us in the past and we recovered beautifully, but it took many years.
If your both are willing to do the work, rewards will follow.
Good luck,
Sophia
PS start with some books and both read them, each marking the important points for each of you.
"Affair the Affair" by Janet Abrahams Spring, Ph.D is a good one and "Not Just Friends" by Shirley Glass is also good.
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