Posted by Lily on 11/14/2008, 12:17 pm, in reply to "Our sons want to be friends---HELP!"
I can understand how devastating having the children become friends is to you. Have you talked this out with your H? This is a strong feeling and he needs to be working on the solution with you. Hopefully you can manage to not discourage the friendship since to a child, any friend is important.
Is it possible to actually find out who the father of that child really is? If it was brought up in the divorce it is likely a DNA test might have been done. And it is also unlikely, if the child was your H's child, that he has not been asked for child support so the probability is that the child was the OW's husbands.
When you say your marriage is not what it was, is that based just on this new hurt or on the way you feel daily? If you feel daily that you are not living in a honest and caring relationship that you want to be in, then it is time to talk to your H, tell him exactly how lost and hurt you still are and ask him to go to therapy to get some help for you and for the marriage. Holding in these feelings will not improve the marriage but bringing them out and talking about them and dealing with them together might help tremendously.
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