Posted by Sophia
on 11/13/2008, 8:51 pm, in reply to "longterm affair"
Dear Sir (I don't want to call you idiot),
Your wife is involved in what we call a "revenge affair", and it is counter productive to marital recovery after your affair. I know because my very long marriage had several. What is needed now in your marriage is more intimacy, not less. Intimacy is blocked in a marriage when there is a triangle and until the affairs stop, there will be no bonding.
Look - you two need professional help before its too late. You both love each other but you both are so hurt that you don't know how to handle the situation. Please, please go to the best marital therapist that you can find. If you have to - drag her with you and both of you do the work necessary to heal your marriage.
Once you both gain understanding and trust again, you may come out of this with a better more bonded marriage than ever, but now its a mess. A website called www.dearpeggy.com has a list of professional therapists all over the country who specialize in infidelity. That is what you need right now. I am speaking from an experience like yours. so go get help and please keep us informed.
Good luck,
Sophia
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