Posted by LisaKay on 11/12/2008, 6:46 pm
I was here years ago but things were going OK, so I no longer felt the need, but something has come up (doesn't it always?) and I need help again.
My story in a nutshell. My husband had an affair in 1993/4. I was pregnant at the time (in '94 anyway)I didn't find out until 2004 when a mentally ill relative told me. I didn't believe her because of her mental instability, but my husband confirmed it. I really suffered for a few years but ultimately stayed. About two years ago the other woman called my husband; she and her husband were going through a divorce and as part of it, he had claimed her child was my husbands. My husband had neglected to tell me that she too was pregnant at the time. He thought he was the father but when the child was born, they just "knew" it wasn't his. Well, her husband threatened all kinds of things, including calling me. Nothing ever came of it.
Our son is now in middle school. Today he told me who his new best friend is and I was floored. It's the "affair" child. He wants to have him over. I don't even know where to begin to go with this. Of course I could say no. I could do things to discourage their relationship. But I am amazed that the hurt came back so easily and quickly. I just can't believe it. I feel like I'm livin' a f***ing soap opera. Nobody knows about this in my family, though I am sure plenty of people knew far before I did. And in retrospect I'm sure we lost many friendships over it.
Anyway-if anyone has advice, I'd really appreciate it. I'm on the verge of tears. I really hate reliving this over and over. Our marriage is not what it was and I don't believe it ever will be. I just stay because I stay; no real reason except it's easier. But I'm so unhappy. I just want joy and love back again. Is that too much to ask? Thanks for listening.
Oh, and if I put in my email will it be published? ~Lisa
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