Posted by Kateri
on 10/24/2008, 6:27 pm
I am still recovering from the severe shock of how we broke up right when my dad died ... and now this partner of 13 years reappears after a three year gap. He didn't figure out my number; he only connected to my sister a couple months ago. I just felt so emotional about it that I didn't respond right away until this past week when I finally sent him a card with a neutral kind of hope your October birthday was fine + thanks for the memories. But I still love him & what am I supposed to make of his call? My sister only got a voice mail since she wasn't home and she relayed the message saying that left a long rendition of how he thinks of me all the time. I had a mini-poem in the card also (to match the Little Miss Muffet front cover). It just was a light message that summed up how things got out of hand at the end with some lines about running from the web that messed everything up. I then ended it with mentioning the update from my sister that he called and wrapped up with a simple belated birthday wish & didn't even sign it. It is so vague but peaceful that I feel good at least for acknowledging his call. It doesn;t really do much more than that though & today I feel back at square one & confused & now miss him alot.
+ FYI:He and I are super sensitive types so for him to even reach out was amazing... but why I don't know. I am too scarred from the breakup when after co-parenting hassles & my friction about step-mama messes he just said he was fed up & then decided to grab a new date and we both instantly ran. He could still be with this gal so I will not dare touch base by calling him. Yet, now I am an emotional wreck!!! I thought it was over forever in all ways & was blown away to hear about the message and how he says he thinks of me constantly. Can anyone help me get grounded and know how to get my heart & mind off of him in a true way. I SOooo adored our relationship and him and yet he moved on supposedly and I was stuffing feelings & doing ok until he called. Now what? I know all that "stuff" like info from "Women who love too much", etcetera. Well, I'm not actually that way - I was always an independent strong type. So I guess I'm simply aware that this person was just special for so long and we had incredible ties and chemistry and went thru so, so much together. BUT now seems like zero future so what can I do to get unstuck on him today & why would he call when in the end he made it clear that his new gal insisted on complete cutoff from all other females so we were over, over, over forever. I was crushed & had no problem telling him how he ruined my world with his selfish abrupt jumping ship & the walls went up. So I made it clear that he couldn't play emotional affair games with me while with that other woman so cut off would be complete! Anyway, no one but that guy really knows why he got in touch to tell me I'm on his mind... when we are supposed to have walls up. Nevertheless, if anyone can help with possible ways for me to look at this without melting over & over I'd appreciate it. Thanks ahead of time for any support you can offer~ Kateri
(P.S. 'Sorry for rambling in this lengthy note -I'm just so upset.)
Message Thread:
« Back to thread