I found out 5 months ago that my husband betrayed me. He vowed that he would do whatever it takes to make things right with me and he made promises I just found out he did not keep. He finally confessed to me the real truth about the affair and contact he has had with his coworker since I first discovered the affair. He lied for months about actually having sex with her and then when he finally admitted to it he continued to lie about when, where and how many times. He He only revealed to me the "whole" truth just a few days ago. I had started to feel like we could move on from this and be better but I still felt there were pieces missing. We have been in counseling and have learned a lot about each other and about our own selves and that has been good. We were going through all of the healing processes but I was not healing because he was lying to me and I felt it in my heart. We had begun praying together and reading the Bible together and I prayed for GOD to reveal the lies to me so that I can move on. If my husband revealed them on his own without me feeling like I was dragging the truth out of him like I had felt before, than it would mean we could make it work. If he did not reveal to me the truth and it was a struggle to get any truth from him, I would know that we should not be together. My prayer was answered and he opened up to me and revealed all of his previous lies. He told me things that were devasting to me and I am surprised that he would confess them to me now.
I feel in a small way that maybe, finally, he is being completely honest but my head tells me he is not, that he is still holding back truths. I do not know at this point if he is truthful because a part of myself believed that before he was finally being honest. I know that now was not the case. I feel worse now than I would have if he would have been completely honest 5 months ago. I love him so much and I do not want my marriage to end. I feel as though it will die a slow painful death. I'm not sure if I can try again after discovering he has been lying all along. He says he has not had personal contact or communications with her during the past few months and he has changed his schedule and requested a transfer so that he would not have to see her but he lied about schedule changes that resulted in him seeing her. He confessed those to me now but I'm not sure if he is telling me the whole truth.
How do you really know?
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You can recover from the pain, loss, despair. Get started with "After
the Affair", a short article based on over 30 years of professional
practice in marriage and family therapy.
You can recover from the pain, loss, despair. Get started with "After the Affair", a short article based on over 30 years of professional practice in marriage and family therapy.