Posted by Lily on 6/29/2008, 11:05 am, in reply to "Do I want to know?"
You did not say how long ago was the A and that may enter into your opening a discussion with your H. If it was fairly recent then he will be expecting questions but if it ended several years ago and he thought it was over and done with, you may find him resentful and angry to find you opening up the subject. Not that this attitude would be right, but it probably would be how he might react.
Since it sounded like the A was several years ago, your questioning might need to take a different, more loving path than if you are just recovering. Make the discussion one on improving your intimacy and becoming closer with the questions becoming part of that discussion. Just be careful that you do not ask anything where the answer will send you into a spiral. If you ask, you cannot blame him for the answer.
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