Posted by Sophia
on 6/25/2008, 11:03 am, in reply to "Do I want to know?"
Dear SC,
My long marriage has gone through several brief affairs, and after the last one, it was either deal fully with it or split.
The reason why there were other infidelities befroe the last one is that we never dealt fully with them. So - you DO want to know. Not just the details of the affair, but also the details of the emotional state that led to the affair. Affairs are usually a result of something lacking in the betrayer or in the marriage. Unless these flaws are repaired, the danger of more infidelities is always there, and the lack of trust always remains.
Dealing with the affair takes a lot of work and effort on both of your parts and it is best achieved along with professional marital therapy, and perhaps personal therapy. There is a list of therapists who deal with infidelity on a website called www.dearpeggy.com
SC you can have a marriage made in heaven, but you must do this work first.
Good luck,
Sophia
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