Posted by Sophia
on 6/9/2008, 9:11 pm, in reply to "Husband on myspace"
Aubrey,
Something is radically wrong here. Your marriage is still in the honeymoon stage and it is much too early for disillusions. It appears to me that your husband has brought some unwanted emotional baggage to your marriage.
His actions constitute an affair. Whatever he wants to name it, he had an emotional (and probably physical) connection with another woman and that is cheating. (A cheater will seldom admit to their sins unless they are caught, and then they will deny) It must be stopped now and the behavior understood by both of you or it will continue throughout your marriage bringing you both a marriage full of pain and loss of closeness.
So, I would suggest marital therapy done by a most professional psychologist who speciaizes in infidelity. A website called www.dearpeggy.com has list of these therapists throughout the country. Your husband should also go to individual therapy so that he may understand the emotional malfunction that allowed him to engage in such poor behavior. So, he need to understand where this poor judgement and motivation comes from and he needs to learn how to change it.
Until this happens, there will be no trust or real bonding in your marriage.
Good books for both of you to read are "After the Affair" by Janis Abrahams Spring, Ph.D., "Not Just Friends", by Shirley Glass MSW,
There are many other good ones. If you like, I will look them up.
Committment to fix this mess takes a lot of work by both of you, but it is really worth it when you are successful. You will then have a strong, satisfying close and loving marriage.
Good luck,
Sophia
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