Posted by Aubrey on 6/2/2008, 12:59 pm
Ok, so I found out that my husband of 7 months was cheating on me.
It started about 3 weeks ago, when I realized that he was acting very strange on the internet. I would walk into the room and he'd close the page quickly. I brushed it off, pretending not to notice. Until a couple of days later I see that the closed browser had the name "Emily" on it. I asked him what he was up to. And he said "looking at games and stuff". And completely ignored the other window with her name on it.
Then I noticed that he would come home from work and get right on myspace. And would close the browser anytime I moved. And was constantly checking to make sure I wasn't awake.
He told me that he was asking advice over myspace to see if how he was feeling was right. I.e.-sexual problems, why we're not communicating as well as we should be.
My sister came to me and said that my husband had used her computer to log into myspace. So I did a myspace search and saw that he had another account.
I called him and demanded to know the password. He said try this, or maybe it's this one. But it wasn't either of the two he gave me.
So I said, "give me the password, I need the password." He said no, no I will not give it to you. What you'll see will only make you upset.
And I asked why did you say something about me? Is someone saying something about me? I need to see what this person said.
Well, the conversation ended with him telling me that since Feb. of this year he was thinking about divorcing me. And that he was unhappy. And I asked who he was talking to about it. He said a married woman, and this friend from an online game he plays.
After I got off the phone with him, I still felt like he was hiding something. So I got into his email, and had myspace send me his password.
Logged on and read all of the messages/blogs. Turns out he only had 1 friend. It was her.
I found out that he went to her house a few times, held hands, she touched his knee, she kissed him on the cheek, he kissed her on the head. And that she hoped our marriage wouldn't work out, so that they could be together. And that they both were having dreams of each other.
My husband also wrote that he "loathed" me and that we had a "loveless marriage."
And when I confronted him about it, all he said was "they're just words". "Hows that cheating?"
For the past 3 days we've been talking about it, but I just can't seem to get past it. I told him to send her a message telling her that he wants nothing to do with her, that any contact was not wanted. And that when they have to work together everything will be strictly business. And then he closed the myspace account. He also told her after work pretty much the same things he wrote in the message. He said she left crying.
What can he do to regain my trust? How will I ever trust him again? What can I do to forget the things he said to her, what he said about me? I don't want a divorce, and he doesn't either.
I just need some advice.
(I'm so sorry that this was so long!)
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