Posted by sophia
on 5/20/2008, 11:26 am, in reply to "coping with the affair"
Hi EK,
I am so sorry for the situation that you are in. A child from the affair certainly complicates the situation, but I have seen folks recover from that as well.
As you know, a marriage should be fulfilling. Indifference is not a good place to be, so it looks like you have only 2 choices. Sue him for divorce or work like hell to make the marriage work. You both have a long history together and that is reason in itself to try to make it work. If I had to guess, your marriage was not going well before the affair.
A good marital therapist who specializes in infidelity issues would be the place to start the work. A web site www.dearpeggy.com lists recommended therapists all accross the country.
You didn't mention how long it is that you know about the affair or if you have children. A good book that I would recommend is "After the Affair", by Janis Abrahams Spring, Ph.D. and "Not Just Friends" by Shirley Glass, MSW.
These will get you started, but at this point, you really need a good professional.
Good luck.
Sophia
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