Posted by rachel on 5/4/2008, 8:06 pm, in reply to "Re: What To Do ...mmm?"
hi Tom.
Please, PLease, please listen to Joy and Lily - These guys literally save dmy sanity when i discovered that my partner had cheated in me. they speak honestly, without bias, and i can assure you.....they will not sh*t you in any way!!!
i have not visited tis board for about 12 months now, but your story makes me feel sad. i understand your frustration, and i can undersatnd the thoughts that are runing through your head right now. the cahnces of your wife finding out are relitively zero....so no-one will be hurt, right? thats what my H thought.....no-one can under-estimate emotions tho....at some point either you, or your (potential) mistress will reveal all...and absloutely destry what P.O.M your wife has. You WILL hate yourself (whether u leave your wife or stay with her). you will have comlete distrust in all future relationships (cos u know how 'easy' it can be, right?, your friends, your family will look at you differently......the list of shame for you (and your wife) will go on and on and on (we ended up leaving the country....i kid u not).
the really good thing is you rcognise the problems in your marriage... you abviously don't want to take the easy way out, you asked for advice...and i take my hat off to you! take it furthe....seek professional help....if the marriage is no longer for you, the counsellors can help you walk the path....if the marriage can be saved, they will guide you too.
good luck 
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