Posted by Lily on 2/6/2008, 10:08 am, in reply to "Still in Love"
I understand your saying you want a future with this OM but the future you are dreaming of is exactly that, a dream. In real life it would be greatly different. He may be someone that is rude to his wife's family, does not help around the house, spends family funds on himself etc. etc. What you are seeing of him is what he wants you to see but you can be sure there is also another side of him that you cannot see unless you are married to him long term.
You and he have caused serious pain to 2 people who did not deserve it. You owe it to both of your spouses to end all contact totally and give your marriage the chance to heal. If after a year of no contact you both still want one another, then do the right thing and both of you file for divorce before you start up again.
It is very normal for it to take a long period of time for the WS to realize what a fool they were. The "fog" of the A is thick and takes time to dissapate. It clouds your eyes to reality and all you can see is the excitement and energy that you felt with the new person but you never think about what it would be like with them after the excitement wore off and day to day problems of life came in. Be assured that after a period of time most WS are totally turned off by the thought of the OP. Think about it, how could you love and respect a person who cheats and lies?
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