Posted by Joy on 2/1/2008, 1:42 pm, in reply to "Still in Love"
This is a choice.
Your brief affair was a fantasy, based on a relationship long ago. It's over.
The best way to get this out of your head is to end it completely. No contact with him at all. No continued 'friendship'. Withdraw yourself and let yourself realize the reality. This 'love' is based on a fantasy, not a real relationship. It's foundation was a lie. He didn't choose YOU, but his marriage.
You didn't end up together back after high school, you are not now. This is reality. Your grieving something that never happened.
Commit yourself to your marriage. Get counseling for yourself if you feel like something is lacking within yourself that you hoped this affair would provide.
Don't need to sound harsh, but continuing to torture yourself and most likely your spouse over something that wasn't totally real, but a brief relationship, is a waste of your energy. This other man never had to met all your needs, as your husband was also there for you, as was his wife.
Following is another active support group that has a section for the former wayward spouse. Maybe they can help you come back to real life and what you need to do to heal yourself and help your husband get through this. This had to hurt him terribly. It's cruel to him to have you continuing to wish for someone else.
http://survivinginfidelity.com/
A yahoo group site with lots of links and helpful articles saved in files. Not an active support group.
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/AffairsTalk/
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