Posted by Sophia on 1/12/2008, 8:22 am, in reply to "Does Therapy Really Work"
Sil,
In the early years of our marriage (about 6-7years), my husband had his first affair. When he told me, we swept it under the rug because at that time we were swamped with other problems - 3 babies, financial problems, and moving to a new home. Had we tried to solve our problems through therapy at that time, we could have been spared many years os pain and misunderstanding. Many years later, and several infidelities (by both of us), we could ignore it no longer. His betrayal of me was so horrible that I was ready to throw all those good years out and end our long, long marriage. Our son and daughter in law, who are both therapists and professors of psychology found Dr. Janis Abrahams Spring for us and she was able to help us make it through that long tunnel of pain and mistrust to the other side. Now we have a wonderful marriage, but it took years of work both with Dr. Spring (about 2 years) and with private therapy with another therapist.
I believe that a good therapist can help a couple discover what went wrong and then direct you to understand how to correct it. (example: my husband's poor self-image led him to believe that I really didn't love him, and he looked for valadation of his worthiness elsewhere)
Good luck with your therapy. Also remember that you can always change therapists if that one is not productive.
Sophia
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