Posted by Sophia on 11/27/2007, 2:14 pm, in reply to "What else?: The Affair"
Dear "Help Me",
I am so sorry for the pain that you are suffering. Please know that whatever path you and your husband choose, time will dull your pain.
While it is true that when a person with bipolar disorder is in the "manic" phase of the illness, they have less control on their impulses. They do however, still know right from wrong and can control their actions. Your husband knew very well that what he was doing was wrong for you and wrong for the marriage, and probably wrong for the "other woman".
Whatever your decision, your "girls" will survive with loving parents even if they are not together. That said, your husband needs a great deal of individual therapy and you both need very professional marital therapy to help in making your decisions.
A website www.dearpeggy.com has a list of therapists all over the country who specialize in infidelity. This step is very important. A Good therapist can help to sort things out and help with important decisions and then help with marital recovery, if that is to be your choice. You are in no emotional shape right now to make decisions alone. Also try reading the books "After the Affair" by Janis Abrahams Spring, Ph.D. and "Not Just Friends" by Shirley Glass. They will help. This is the beginning of a long road for you. Try to use all the resources that you can for help.
Good luck.
Sophia
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