Posted by Help Me! on 11/26/2007, 11:46 pm
I need help in the worst way! It's been one month since I found out about my H's A. We have been married 5 years. Have 2 girls age 2&5. One month ago his mistress contacted me on myspace. I was completely clueless to everything! I confronted my H and he confessed that they had an A. Since then he has seen a psychiatrist who diagnosed him with Biploar Disorder and ADHD. He will start medications soon. Every time we talk about the A, his story is different. The duration and seriousness of the relationship. For the past 3 years we had a mutual agreement that he would live close to his work (50 miles away) during the week and come home weekends. I stay home with the kids, so it was tough, but I thought I was being understanding of him commuting so much. Turns out he met this woman at work and was living with her during the week and coming home to us on the weekends. As all of you know, I am beyond devastated. He had cheated on me before we were married, and showed true remorse. He said that was his wake up call, and he knew he would never do it again. Well, here we are again. I was trying to be understanding that nobody is perfect, and I do believe we learn from our mistakes. Maybe I was the one who made the mistake. I guess my first question is what I should do for the kids? His absence for the past 3 years was really really hard on them. It crushed me to see them crying for daddy every day. He has been coming home for the past 6 months every night, and I can see that it makes the girls so happy. What's best for the girls is not necessarily best for me. I am torn because I don't know if I should stay with him because the girls adore him, and need a daddy in their life, or divorce. All the statistics out there scare me shitless, because I do not want the girls to be in pain for the rest of their lives due to our divorce. In the last month he has claimed that he is truly sorry and he hates himself for what he did to me, and he wants to work it out. Because of his Bipolar and obvious signs of split personalities I don't know if I can trust what he is saying. I love him dearly and it is really hard to walk away from a 9 year relationship. I am on the fence and I have no clue what to do. I feel like a fish out of water and my world is spinning around me. I appreciate all of you who participate in this discussion group. You are helping more than you realize.
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