Posted by Lily on 11/15/2007, 10:22 am, in reply to "Thanks"
Dustin is doing well. He lives in a nearby town with 3 buddies who were in the Marines in Iraq with him and they all work construction. I am amazed you remembered him and appreciate your asking.
I believe you are doing the right thing in consulting an attorney etc. My H had 2 EA and 2 PA as you may remember. I thought each time he understood the pain caused but clearly he did not perhaps because I did not go far enough into the consequences and the devastation. This last time, 7 years ago in Dec., I did what you are doing now. It made him realize what consequences really were and he woke up in a hurry. I wish now I had not been so "understanding" on the other times. I am in hopes that your marriage can still be saved and that he will immediately take any and all steps to try to save it. With your children nearly grown, he is going to mess up all the weddings, new grandkids (and great grandkids down the road), all the birthdays and other holidays where from now on they will be split between him, you and the inlaws. I drew a really graphic mental picture for my H on this subject, which he clearly had not considered. I think he believed we, including the OW, would all be one happy family. He actually said he knew I would be upset when I found out but thought that was all. When he found out what "upset" really meant he became a changed man. However, if your H does not really understand and you feel you cannot continue in the marriage, then do what must be done. You deserve to live in a way where you are not in fear of what your partner might be doing when you are not watching him.
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