Posted by Sophia on 11/13/2007, 9:15 pm, in reply to "Making a Necessary Choice?"
Sharon,
I cannot give you advice at this point. The only way that you to can even begin to think about marital recovery is if he is remorceful and truly wants to work on radical honesty, integrity and faithfulness.
I will relate to you that my marriage had been plagued with infidelity for many years on and off by both of us. My own pathetic choice of infidelity came as a result of revenge seeking for my husband's unfaithfulness. Then, about 9 years ago, he had the affair that ended all affairs. There was a double betrayal, just as you related. He swore that he had stopped seeing her, but he continued on and off for about 2 more months. When I found out that my trust was shattered once again, I just went crazy and even though we were married for many many years I could not envision continuing. It hurt too darn much. He begged and pleaded and showed remorce and took us to therapy with a most wonderful therapist who specialized in this type of problem. We did all the hard work for many years and now we finally have a wonderful new marriage which is based on trust and honesty. We both have gained though all that pain and have really changed. We now have someone to grow old with whom we can love and trust. So - all this to say that if you BOTH are ready to do a lot of work and if your husband is truly remorceful and ready to change, there is still a chance.
Good luck,
Sophia
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