Posted by Sophia on 10/29/2007, 7:58 pm, in reply to "Is This Marrige Over ?" I have also been married a long time and my marriage had been plagued with affairs and infidelities. Nine years ago, when our marriage was at a low point, my husband was involved in the "affair to end all affairs". The betrayal was so painful that it was either fix the marriage or get out. Because of our very long history together and our children and grandchildren, we chose to do the very difficult work. We went to a marvelous therapist who specialized in affair recovery and the long hard years of work that we did together helped begin our "new marriage". We are now close and bonded and have a great life together.
Stan,
Stan, all this to say that you two still have a chance for happiness if you both want it. You must go to the best marital therapist you can find and both have to want to try to preserve the marriage. There are recommended therapists all over the country on www.dearpeggy.com
Read the book "After the Affair" by Janet Abrahams Spring, Ph.D or/and "Not Just Friends" by Shirley Glass or "Private Lies" by Frank Pittman, M.D. and read them with your wife.
Start honest communication going if you can.
Its well worth trying to save a long-term marriage. You can come out of this with a better marriage than you ever imagined.
Good luck,
Sophia
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