Posted by Joy on 2/20/2007, 11:15 pm, in reply to "I don't know how to help best. Need advise!!" But, since he is living a secret second life, he is most likely diverting mutual funds, and taking assets from the marriage. Plus, he husband may be taking risks that put her in danger of contracting an STD. She should have the right to decide for herself if she wants to continue to live this kind of life or not. Send her something annoymous with evidence if you cannot get involved. Then, be a supportive friend. If she had no idea, she will be devestated. She may be aware and chooses to not do anything about it. If she needs help, then suggest a certified marriage counsellor and there are a few good books, one "Not Just Freinds" by S. Glass that might be helpful for her. I know some will say not to get involved. But, I wish that someone had told me earlier about my H's affair. I had the right to protect myself. To many crazy things happen sometimes. She might need to get legal counsel and make sure that her H hasn't hidden all their assests from her in secret accounts. Not everyone will agree on this one. I can only tell you that many a betrayed spouse will tell you that they wished those that knew would have told them sooner. That the secrets being kept by their friends was just another deception and betrayal. Take care, Joy
I can't tell just how to go about it, but I firmly believe that this wife has the right to know. What she does about it will be her decision.
Really sucks to later find out that many others knew and also kept you in the dark.
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