Posted by Stan on 2/20/2007, 10:13 am, in reply to "Re: Is It Time To Leave ?" You mentioned that at least my wife admitted she had an affair, where your husband has always denied it. Well actually in the beginning, after discovery of "D" day, she denied everything. She said they were just friends, etc. I called her lover. He said he was very sorry and I probably wanted to kill him ... which was a thought, but it take two to tangle and she is the one who pursued him, as he lived 150 miles from our home. She just tied her business trips into her meeting with him. This went on for many years. When she knew I had all the facts, she offered to leave, leaving me everything as long as I didn't destroy her (i.e tell our sons and her family and friends and about her affair). I said No ... lets try to work through this and move on. Long story short ... I tried, and perhaps she tried a little, but we've made little headway ... for years. Looking back ... a lot is missed in life when one is in a difficult marriage. For me if I divorced tomorrow, I would still see my sons, grand kids and all the important people in my life. Simply put, and explained by my wife and her counselor, I wasn't a bad husband, I just didn't meet her needs, and another man did. Of course it is more than that, and it always is. Someone like Dr. Spring could bring all this out, but it would take time. I think my wife would prefer a divorce than to take the route of extensive counseling. We have a beautiful home on many acres of land, and a cottage near our favorite lake. However with so much loniliness in this marriage, there must be a better life. I would love to be with a woman, where we could laugh and enjoy each day together, dance, takes walks, cruise in our boat ... and just do fun things together. Life is to short for anything else. I have all the material things. What is lacking, is a woman to love. But, Yes Gwen as you said ... "We must all decided when it is time to leave". Thanks for your thoughts. Stan
Gwen -
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