Posted by Joy on 2/18/2007, 4:43 pm, in reply to "Is It Time To Leave ?" http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi011_dates.html This is a good one, and since there is an issue of "needs" I think that Dr. Harleys outlook might be a real eye opener for your wife. It's a little expensive, about $1000, but includes all books and follow up. If that is not possible, then consider Retrouvaille. It is run by a church group, but you do not need to be a member of any church to attend. It is less expensive, and they will work with you on the price. Follow up meetings are also involved. Even though counselling didn't work before, it would be worthwhile to revisit the issue. Also, look into getting Dr. Harley's book "His Needs, Her Needs", from marriagebuilder.com Even if you don't go. Comes in a cassette version also. Or "The Five Love Languages". Both are great books about meeting each other's emotional needs. The OM that she had an affair with DID NOT have to meet the majority of her needs, but just a few, those few being free of "REAL LIFE" issues. You where providing all the rest. The affair was based on a fantasy life, without any real life problems, no bills to pay, etc! Most likely, if she ever had to deal only with him, she would have quickly realized what she was missing with him. The majority of affairs don't survive when reality sets in and Mr. Wonderful leaves his dirty clothes all over, is late paying the bills etc...and still wanting to be waitted on hand and foot! Take care, Joy
I suggest that since she was resistant to therapy, that maybe you start with a marriage weekend.
A lot cheaper than a divorce.
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