Posted by Lily on 2/16/2007, 10:47 am, in reply to "Re: Show I leave or Should I stay?"
You are not his mother so there is no reason you should remind him about appointments. If he is truly an adult then he is capable of remembering these things especially when it is as important as saving his marriage.
Do not allow him to put any of the burden on you. Don't get nasty, just state calmly that if you can remember then there is no reason why he also could remember, end of conversation. He is using the tactic that if he blames you and you silently accept that blame then he can feel guilt free. Everything he does or did in the past was his choice. You did not cause his choices. In my own case, my H had an EA back about 30 years ago, then a PA about 5 years later. He acted similar to your H so I stuffed my pain and anger and went on with life. About 10 years ago he had another EA which I also let him get away with, then in 2000 I caught him with a OW in our home. This time I calmly called my CPA and attorney and filed for divorce. He was shocked and made an appointment with a therapist, went to a meeting and then came to my office and asked if I would go to the next counceling session with him. When I took control he realized he could no longer play the game under his rules. Now this may not work in your case, but I have seen many posters on the boards say the same thing: stand up for yourself and stick with it and it may create major improvements.
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