Posted by jacksjill on 1/23/2007, 7:14 am, in reply to "Re: he won't admit it"
There are so many strange things that don't add up to me. After I confronted him, he started buying things... for me, for our house, encouraging me to buy new clothes. After a while, he started talking about coaching next season, when I said i thought we weren't doing that, the buying stopped, he got depressed, and moody. Looking back I think he thought this will blow over, and I can get right back to what I was doing. He said the other day he was going through withdrawals from not being involved in out of season training. I said nothing. He then added..."but it's ok..I don't miss it that much, I was just commenting on how busy I would be if I was, and actually I like having the time free now". I said nothing again, wondering what kind of withdrawal he was going through, over missing the team, or missing her falling all over him, he's such a wonderful guy! I think he is fighting with himself over it all. He wants "it", but he knows he can't have it. He misses being involved, but knows I will leave if he does. And I'm not convinced it's coaching or the team he misses so much.
So, I'm thinking of telling him yeah go ahead get involved again, I'm over it now. And see what happens, watch carefully and "dig" as you say. It seems so deceitful, but what other choice do I have? I can't go on like this anymore, this is worse than him just telling me he had an affair.
Any ideas on that? Do I put the effort into letting him hang himself or put the effort into saving my marriage? How do I save a marriage when there is so much distance beteen us? I don't really like him much right now, even though I love him. How crazy is that? Any input and ideas would be appreciated. Did you and your husband, your marriage, make it through this? If you did, how did you do it?
thanks....
Message Thread:
« Back to thread