Posted by DawnM on 7/1/2006, 4:34 pm, in reply to "Re: Marriage - And A Time to Move On" DawnM
I don't think that an affair is the end of any marriage if the reason why it happened can be determined and dealt with. Many aren't serious affairs, some that are may have done too much damage, it really depends if the couple can get back to what has been lost. Love is powerful and humans make dumb mistakes like my husband did when he got emotionally involved with OW. However, I learned it was a cry for attention that I was no longer giving him because he was taking a backseat to new motherhood, me being a teacher, and being in grad school. I took too much of our relationship for granted. The A has honestly helped us rebuild what we've always had that we just got away from. Yes the A was painful, and yes I thought it would lead to the end of the marriage until I cleared enough time to think it through and discuss it openly with my H. I hope the OW has also learned that you can't divide a marriage to fix your own. Her marriage was failing and her husband had many affairs. She used that to get my husband's sympathy from the beginning. It opened the door for my H to feel okay talking to her about our issues because she had them too but on larger scale. The rest is history.
But if couples can't work together and no longer love each other then yes, it should be over. Life is too short to be misreable with someone you thought you loved. Maybe you do love them but you might not like them enough to live in a relationship with them.
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