Posted by Fran on 6/11/2006, 3:06 pm, in reply to "tough week"
Dear Abby,
Sweet girl what are you doing? You can not hold your H hand all the time. He must learn self soothing. You are his wife not his mommy. Are you living in fear that if you fail somehow to meet his needs he will go off with the next willing 22 year old? If this is how you feel Abby than you will drive yourself crazy. In the end you will push him away because you will come to resent him.
I am 55 too and have long stopped trying to be 22.
I have earned my wrinkles,(raised 4 kids), sagging boobs(nursed 4 babies)and veracious vains (worked on my feet for 35 years). If my H could not accept me like this than he could just go find some sweet young thing.
Gonna tell you the tables will turn on all these men who go down that road. My father divorced my mother and married a girl that was 25 years his jr. Now he is in his 70 and she is having one affair after another. She calls my dad her dirty old man. I feel sad for my Dad in many ways but he asked for it. My mother was heart broken but picked herself up, found a new man her same age and they are still happy to this day.
Abby please stop trying to change who you are. You are a 55 year old women, who is beautiful, talented, and wise. Your H should be thanking God that you are willing to forgive him and rebuild your marriage.
My H affair was with a younger women but she was butt ugly. I am not just saying that to be mean spirited either. My H told me it was never about her looks but how she made him feel.
Abby can you imagine what I was feeling at the time. My H has an affair and leaves me to go live with a butt ugly women. I felt lower than low. He would rather be with Ms. Butt ugly than me. Thing is Abby she could have been a beauty queen or butt ugly it would not have mattered. He was looking for someone to make him feel good about himself instead of making himself feel good about himself.
Abby please don't live the rest of your life waiting for the next shoe to drop...Be blessed...Fran
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