After the Affair

After the Affair
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Untitled Document

Welcome to "After the Affair" discussion forum. The topic is recovery after the affair. Recovery requires concerted effort from both partners. Therefore I encourage posts from those who had the affair as well as those who have not. I also encourage children whose parents had an affair to contribute, whether you are now an adult or are still a child.

For professional resources go to www.willingspirits.com. Read After the Affair, (free on line)a brief introduction to the recovery process.

NEW: After the Affair Chat Room: ATAchat

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after the smoke clears - chad 5/15/2012, 11:41 pm
- Re: after the smoke clears - chad 5/15/2012, 11:50 pm
How do I do this? - Bridget 4/10/2012, 7:58 pm
- Re: How do I do this? - Chad 5/15/2012, 11:04 pm
private investigator - susan 10/21/2011, 6:39 pm
- Re: private investigator - Chad 5/15/2012, 11:10 pm
wanting out - cyhdy hood 4/14/2011, 6:41 pm
- she wants out - chad 5/31/2011, 2:29 am
- Re: wanting out - Joy 5/8/2011, 7:13 pm
  - Re: wanting out - AloneinNY 7/21/2011, 6:31 pm
level of malicious intent - chad 2/23/2011, 10:55 pm
Betrayed - Darcy 2/7/2011, 4:47 pm
- Re: Betrayed - broken908 7/7/2011, 11:24 pm
  - nice response - Chad 5/15/2012, 11:23 pm
- trust your brain - chad 2/23/2011, 10:39 pm
cell phone spy elite - broken908 1/14/2011, 3:40 pm
- Re: cell phone spy elite - chad 2/23/2011, 10:27 pm
  - Re: cell phone spy elite - broken908 7/1/2011, 11:44 pm
when she finally left - chad 12/6/2010, 6:18 am
- Re: when she finally left - AloneinNY 12/10/2010, 3:14 pm
  - Re: when she finally left - chad 2/23/2011, 9:52 pm
    - Re: when she finally left - AloneinNY 7/21/2011, 6:28 pm
      - the bigger person - chad 5/15/2012, 11:30 pm
recovery after the affair - chad 12/6/2010, 5:55 am
- Re: recovery after the affair - Alex 12/27/2010, 10:42 am
  - Re: recovery after the affair - chad 5/31/2011, 2:17 am
  - Re: recovery after the affair - Becky 1/18/2011, 9:17 pm
- Re: recovery after the affair - AloneinNY 12/7/2010, 6:26 pm
  - Re: recovery after the affair - chad 12/8/2010, 7:22 pm
    - Re: recovery after the affair - grace 12/28/2010, 10:52 am
      - Re: recovery after the affair - chad 2/23/2011, 10:03 pm
why is there such a complete lack of accountability in adults? - broken908 10/26/2010, 4:32 pm
- Re: why is there such a complete lack of accountability in adults? - AloneinNY 10/27/2010, 5:51 pm
  - Re: why is there such a complete lack of accountability in adults? - chad 12/5/2010, 4:20 am
OW is reading these!?! - broken908 10/24/2010, 7:58 pm
- Re: OW is reading these!?! - broken908 10/27/2010, 10:29 pm
- OW is reading these? - AloneinNY 10/25/2010, 5:28 am
  - Re: OW is reading these? - broken908 10/25/2010, 5:20 pm
Divorce? Please help. - L 9/14/2010, 3:32 pm
- Re: Divorce? Please help. - chad 12/5/2010, 4:36 am
  - Re: Divorce? Please help. - L 12/6/2010, 8:22 am
- Re: Divorce? Please help. - Gia 11/24/2010, 4:42 pm
- Re: Divorce? Please help. - ugg boots 10/25/2010, 7:21 am
- Re: Divorce? Please help. - Broken908 9/14/2010, 8:07 pm
  - Re: Divorce? Please help. - L 9/15/2010, 12:23 am
    - Re: Divorce? Please help. - sophia 9/15/2010, 10:59 am
      - Re: Divorce? Please help. - L 9/15/2010, 1:47 pm
        
        Re: Divorce? Please help. - Broken908 s 9/15/2010, 2:08 pm
        
        Re: Divorce? Please help. - NoMore 9/17/2010, 6:41 pm
Discovered an affair and obsessing! - Broken908 9/11/2010, 6:05 pm
To Chad - Liz 9/5/2010, 2:52 pm
- Hello Liz.... - Alex 12/27/2010, 10:50 am
- Re: To Chad - chad 12/5/2010, 4:43 am
  - Re: To Chad - chad 12/5/2010, 5:07 am
My postings here. - Chad 8/30/2010, 11:18 pm
Is there anybody out there? - Allen 8/18/2010, 7:04 pm
- It has been 12 years - sophia 8/27/2010, 4:43 pm
  - Re: It has been 12 years - Broken908 9/15/2010, 12:27 pm
  - Re: It has been 12 years - Broken908 9/15/2010, 10:16 am
    - Re: It has been 12 years - Sophia 9/15/2010, 10:54 am
      - Re: It has been 12 years - Broken908 9/15/2010, 1:51 pm
  - Re: It has been 12 years - Allen 8/31/2010, 6:51 pm
    - Re: It has been 12 years - Sophia 8/31/2010, 7:21 pm
- Is there anybody out there? - Tom 8/23/2010, 1:30 pm
  - Yeah, lots of us out here - Chad 8/26/2010, 10:28 pm
    - Re: Yeah, lots of us out here - Tom 8/26/2010, 11:59 pm
      - full disclosure - Chad 8/29/2010, 10:19 am
        
        Re: full disclosure - Tom 8/30/2010, 5:12 pm
        
        How can I trust her - fire 6/1/2011, 4:03 pm
        
        Re: full disclosure - Allen 8/31/2010, 6:43 pm
        
        Best of luck to you and your children as well - Chad 8/30/2010, 11:07 pm
        
        Re: Best of luck to you and your children as well - Nicole 9/1/2010, 11:15 am
        
        Anger - Tom 9/1/2010, 1:36 pm
        
        Re: the OP - Nicole 9/1/2010, 1:55 pm
        
        Re: Anger - Nicole 9/1/2010, 1:50 pm
Any "Oldies" still checking in? - Joy 7/16/2010, 11:24 pm
- Re: Any "Oldies" still checking in? - Alex 12/27/2010, 10:55 am
- How bizarre! - Liz 9/5/2010, 2:45 pm
- Re: Any "Oldies" still checking in? - Sophia 8/27/2010, 4:46 pm
- Re: Any "Oldies" still checking in? - chad 8/26/2010, 10:10 pm
- Re: Any "Oldies" still checking in? - Allen 8/18/2010, 7:07 pm
  - Re: Any "Oldies" still checking in? - chad 8/26/2010, 9:56 pm
    - Re: Any "Oldies" still checking in? - grace 9/24/2010, 10:55 am
      - Re: Any "Oldies" still checking in? - chad 12/5/2010, 4:49 am
        
        Re: Any "Oldies" still checking in? - grace 12/29/2010, 9:20 am
        
        I still check in - chad 5/15/2012, 11:33 pm
any hope - Abby 6/17/2010, 11:58 pm
- Re: any hope - Broken908 9/15/2010, 2:27 pm
- not in my opinion - chad 8/26/2010, 10:35 pm
i came clean-- finally - Wobbly125 4/7/2010, 6:47 pm
- Re: i came clean-- finally - grace 12/29/2010, 8:55 pm
- Re: i came clean-- finally - LdyBtrFly 7/11/2010, 12:30 pm
Where can i get a book about after the affaire and reocvery from an affaire - Connie 12/15/2009, 3:55 pm
- Re: Where can i get a book about after the affaire and reocvery from an affaire - Wayne 2/25/2010, 9:21 pm
- Re: Where can i get a book about after the affaire and reocvery from an affaire - Lily 12/23/2009, 10:53 am
Recovery for the Unfaithful? - Seeking Forgiveness 12/14/2009, 7:45 am
- Re: Recovery for the Unfaithful? - Lily 12/23/2009, 10:48 am
Am I normal? - Allen 11/13/2009, 8:46 pm
- Normal is a cycle on a washing machine, do you mean are you human? - chad 8/26/2010, 10:53 pm
- Re: Am I normal? - norman 4/27/2010, 7:59 am
- Re: Am I normal? - Maureen 3/6/2010, 7:10 pm
- Re: Am I normal? - don 1/14/2010, 3:24 pm
  - Please don't be me 9 years ago - don 8/26/2010, 11:03 pm
    - I believe I wrote this, sorry don - chad 8/29/2010, 10:23 am
  - Re: Am I normal? - Allen 1/24/2010, 7:47 am
  - Re: Am I normal? - Lily 1/19/2010, 6:53 pm
    - over it? - chad 8/26/2010, 11:06 pm
- Re: Am I normal? - Lily 11/20/2009, 10:25 am
  - Re: Am I normal? - Maureen 3/6/2010, 7:19 pm
recovery - jwr 10/19/2009, 11:44 am
- Re: recovery - Allen 10/28/2009, 7:07 pm
  - Re: recovery - Lily 10/28/2009, 7:25 pm
- Re: recovery - Lily 10/26/2009, 12:11 pm
- Re: Penny Stock Pick - http://www.stockhideout.com/members/pennystocks.html - Gordon 10/28/2009, 4:42 pm
  - Re: Peeny Stocks-http://www.hototc.com/ - MichelHerbert 7/20/2011, 10:32 pm
    - http://www.pennyplayersclub.com/ - JamesBalfour 9/26/2011, 3:34 am
  - Re: Penny Stock Pick - http://www.stockhideout.com/members/pennystocks.html - Penny Stocks 1/11/2010, 9:29 pm
    - Re: Penny Stock Pick - http://www.stockhideout.com/members/pennystocks.html - smokey 5/18/2011, 10:36 pm
Truth - Allen 8/10/2009, 5:17 pm
- Re: Truth - sophia 8/27/2009, 7:36 pm
  - Re: Truth - chad 8/26/2010, 11:18 pm
divorce? - sue 6/23/2009, 6:58 pm
- Re: divorce? - sue 6/25/2009, 10:12 pm
  - Re: divorce? - Sophia 6/30/2009, 8:08 am
    - Re: divorce? - PMike 12/21/2009, 9:39 am
      - pastor mike? - chad 8/26/2010, 11:22 pm
- Re: divorce? - Sophia 6/25/2009, 8:50 pm
  - New to Site - Chuck 7/2/2009, 1:07 pm
    - Re: New to Site - sophia 7/2/2009, 8:01 pm
      - Re: New to Site - sophia 7/6/2009, 5:57 pm
      - Re: New to Site - Chuck 7/6/2009, 8:42 am
        
        Re: New to Site - sue 7/27/2009, 8:34 pm
5 months later - Allen 5/21/2009, 6:16 pm
- Re: 5 months later - Chad 8/30/2010, 11:59 pm
- let's be real allen - allen 8/26/2010, 11:45 pm
- Re: 5 months later - Lily 6/3/2009, 10:18 am
- Re: 5 months later - sophia 5/30/2009, 7:42 am
- Re: 5 months later - Joy 5/23/2009, 9:57 am
The Right Journey - S 4/21/2009, 4:08 pm
- Re: The Right Journey - sophia 5/9/2009, 9:06 am
  - Divorce - at First Sign of Infidelity - S 5/19/2009, 4:25 am
    - staying for family - Chad 8/30/2010, 11:15 pm
details - sue 4/5/2009, 11:02 pm
- Re: details - Chad 8/30/2010, 11:25 pm
- Re: details - sophia 4/17/2009, 9:03 pm
- Re: details - Lily 4/17/2009, 12:55 pm
- Re: details - Joy 4/9/2009, 8:27 pm
- Details - S 4/9/2009, 4:00 am
How honest should I be about my feelings? - Allen 3/3/2009, 6:52 pm
- Looking Back On The Affair - S 3/7/2009, 2:40 am
- Re: How honest should I be about my feelings? - Lily 3/5/2009, 1:16 pm
  - Re: How honest should I be about my feelings? - Allen 3/6/2009, 6:02 pm
    - Re: How honest should I be about my feelings? - Chad 8/30/2010, 11:45 pm
    - Re: How honest should I be about my feelings? - Sophia 3/10/2009, 8:29 am
taking back a cheating ex - Tina K 2/18/2009, 10:52 pm
- Re: taking back a cheating ex - Lily 2/20/2009, 10:35 am
  - Re: taking back a cheating ex - Tina K 2/20/2009, 12:20 pm
    - Re: taking back a cheating ex - Lily 2/21/2009, 12:56 pm
      - Re: taking back a cheating ex - Tina K 2/25/2009, 10:05 am
        
        Re: taking back a cheating ex - Chad 8/31/2010, 12:05 am
How to get the images out of my head - Allen 1/30/2009, 8:30 pm
- Re: How to get the images out of my head - Chad 8/31/2010, 12:20 am
- Re: How to get the images out of my head - Lily 2/7/2009, 10:42 am
  - Re: How to get the images out of my head - Allen 2/8/2009, 9:49 am
    - Re: How to get the images out of my head - Lily 2/11/2009, 10:30 am
    - Re: How to get the images out of my head - Anna 2/10/2009, 8:48 am
- Re: How to get the images out of my head - Sophia 2/2/2009, 7:33 am
  - Re: How to get the images out of my head - Tina K. 2/5/2009, 6:27 pm
    - Re: How to get the images out of my head - Allen 2/8/2009, 9:52 am
      - Re: How to get the images out of my head - Tina K 2/8/2009, 10:17 am
        
        Getting back with your ex - Lily 2/11/2009, 10:23 am
        
        Re: How to get the images out of my head - Allen 2/8/2009, 7:46 pm
        
        Re: How to get the images out of my head - Joy 2/9/2009, 8:31 pm
        
        Re: How to get the images out of my head - Allen 2/12/2009, 6:14 pm
        
        Re: How to get the images out of my head - Anna 2/12/2009, 9:25 pm
        
        Re: How to get the images out of my head - Laura 2/24/2009, 8:26 am
        
        Re: How to get the images out of my head - Lily 3/2/2009, 11:00 am
How To Survive An Affair - S 1/23/2009, 3:07 am
- Re: How To Survive An Affair - Tina K. 2/5/2009, 6:34 pm
- Re: How To Survive An Affair - Lily 1/23/2009, 11:21 am
  - Staying in a Marriage - S 1/24/2009, 1:01 am
    - Re: Staying in a Marriage - Joy 1/24/2009, 11:16 am
      - Re: Staying in a Marriage - sophia 1/24/2009, 8:04 pm
        
        Re: Staying in a Marriage - Chad 8/31/2010, 12:37 am
Tremendous Opportunity - Keith Marlowe 1/16/2009, 5:38 pm
Going Crazy! - Going crazy! 1/11/2009, 11:08 am
- Re: Going Crazy! - Lily 1/23/2009, 11:19 am
- Re: Going Crazy! - sophia 1/13/2009, 8:05 pm
letter - sue 11/19/2008, 7:38 pm
- Re: letter - sophia 11/20/2008, 7:08 am
  - Re: letter - sue 11/23/2008, 7:52 pm
    - re: RAGE - Sophia 11/24/2008, 7:44 am
      - Re: re: RAGE - sue 11/24/2008, 10:18 am
        
        Re: re: RAGE - Lily 11/26/2008, 11:47 am
        
        Re: re: RAGE - sue 11/26/2008, 1:16 pm
        
        Re: re: RAGE - Lily 11/29/2008, 10:47 am
        
        Re: re: RAGE - sue 11/29/2008, 8:25 pm
        
        contacting the OP - Lily 11/30/2008, 10:56 am
longterm affair - idiot 11/13/2008, 3:40 pm
- Re: longterm affair - Chad 8/31/2010, 12:49 am
- Re: longterm affair - Lily 11/14/2008, 12:24 pm
- Re: longterm affair - Sophia 11/13/2008, 8:51 pm
Our sons want to be friends---HELP! - LisaKay 11/12/2008, 6:46 pm
- it's not the kids fault. - Chad 8/31/2010, 12:58 am
- Re: Our sons want to be friends---HELP! - Lily 11/14/2008, 12:17 pm
- Re: Our sons want to be friends---HELP! - sophia 11/13/2008, 8:45 am
Ashamed after Affair - Anna 11/6/2008, 1:35 pm
- yeah - Chad 8/31/2010, 1:11 am
- Re: Ashamed after Affair - Joy 11/8/2008, 2:39 pm
- Re: Ashamed after Affair - sophia 11/7/2008, 8:05 am
  - Thank You - Anna 11/7/2008, 9:34 am
    - let me know - hank 11/10/2008, 7:50 pm
      - Re: let me know - Anna 11/11/2008, 10:19 am
    - Re: Thank You - sophia 11/8/2008, 8:47 am
      - Ashamed - Kaleahia 11/19/2008, 6:09 pm
recovery - fred 11/1/2008, 11:16 pm
- Re: recovery - Lily 11/2/2008, 1:01 pm
  - Re: recovery - fred 11/2/2008, 8:55 pm
Is he....? - Lonely 10/30/2008, 11:25 am
- Re: Is he....? - Lily 11/2/2008, 12:53 pm
- Re: Is he....? - Sophia 10/30/2008, 7:42 pm
Abandoning Ex suddenly calls my family to say he misses me...It's 3 yrs. later! - Kateri 10/24/2008, 6:27 pm
- Re: Abandoning Ex suddenly calls my family to say he misses me...It's 3 yrs. later! - Lily 10/26/2008, 12:41 pm
  - Re: Abandoning Ex suddenly calls my family to say he misses me...It's 3 yrs. later! - Kateri 10/26/2008, 1:24 pm
What to do - Ronnie 10/21/2008, 11:42 am
- Re: What to do - Ronnie 11/12/2008, 9:39 am
- Re: What to do - Ronnie 11/7/2008, 3:09 pm
- Re: What to do - Lily 10/23/2008, 10:37 am
- Re: What to do - Joy 10/22/2008, 9:07 pm
  - Re: What to do - Relations 1/14/2010, 9:08 pm
  - Re: What to do - Ronnie 10/23/2008, 1:14 pm
  - Re: What to do - Ronnie 10/23/2008, 10:45 am
    - Re: What to do - Lily 10/24/2008, 7:09 pm
      - Re: What to do - Ronnie 10/27/2008, 7:29 am
      - Re: What to do - Ronnie 10/26/2008, 1:08 pm
        
        Your line in the sand - Sophia 10/28/2008, 8:45 am
        
        Re: Your line in the sand - Ronnie 10/28/2008, 11:05 am
        
        Re: Your line in the sand - Sophia 10/28/2008, 12:10 pm
        
        Re: Your line in the sand - Ronnie 10/28/2008, 1:29 pm
        
        Re: Your line in the sand - Lily 10/30/2008, 11:46 am
        
        Re: Your line in the sand - Ronnie 11/3/2008, 2:09 pm
        
        Time - Ronnie 11/3/2008, 2:05 pm
        
        Re: Time - Ronnie 11/12/2008, 9:46 am
        
        you love your daughter - Chad 8/31/2010, 1:37 am
Post Divorce Punishismen - Dana 10/14/2008, 9:28 am
- Texas - Chad 8/31/2010, 1:42 am
- Re: Post Divorce Punishismen - Lily 10/18/2008, 10:40 am
  - Re: Post Divorce Punishismen - standupdude 12/18/2008, 1:00 pm
    - AMEN AND AMEN!!! - Chad 8/31/2010, 1:46 am
My husband cheated and lied for months after trying to rebuild - Brenda 9/28/2008, 9:21 am
- Re: My husband cheated and lied for months after trying to rebuild - Belinda 2/16/2012, 12:40 pm
- Re: My husband cheated and lied for months after trying to rebuild - littlegiz 10/29/2010, 4:32 am
- Re: My husband cheated and lied for months after trying to rebuild - Lily 10/3/2008, 10:25 am
- Re: My husband cheated and lied for months after trying to rebuild - sophia 9/28/2008, 8:35 pm
- Re: My husband cheated and lied for months after trying to rebuild - Joy 9/28/2008, 7:57 pm
4 yrs later - Miki 9/25/2008, 9:33 am
- Re: 4 yrs later - Lily 10/3/2008, 10:19 am
- Re: 4 yrs later - Sophia 9/25/2008, 9:17 pm
  - Re: 4 yrs later - Miki 9/26/2008, 2:55 pm
    - Re: 4 yrs later - sophia 9/26/2008, 3:29 pm
My Cheating Wife - Sam 9/14/2008, 5:52 am
- Re: My Cheating Wife - Lily 9/14/2008, 1:07 pm
  - Agree Lily - Sam 9/17/2008, 5:14 am
    - Re: Agree Lily - Lily 9/19/2008, 10:37 am
      - Lily - Separate Lives - Sam 9/20/2008, 7:31 am
help - Leann 9/9/2008, 7:34 pm
- nah - Chad 8/31/2010, 1:31 am
- Re: help - Lily 9/10/2008, 10:55 am
my husband cheated on me - Tara 9/2/2008, 11:23 am
- Re: my husband cheated on me - tess 11/21/2008, 11:44 am
- Re: my husband cheated on me - karen 9/19/2008, 2:20 pm
  - Re: my husband cheated on me - Lily 9/22/2008, 10:35 am
- Re: my husband cheated on me - JohnnyB 9/5/2008, 10:01 am
  - Re: my husband cheated on me - Joy 9/6/2008, 11:01 pm
- Re: my husband cheated on me - Sophia 9/3/2008, 7:58 pm
- Re: my husband cheated on me - Lily 9/3/2008, 10:16 am
  - Re: my husband cheated on me - Brenda 9/28/2008, 9:03 am
marriage - katie 7/30/2008, 5:19 pm
- Re: marriage - Lily 8/1/2008, 11:04 am
- Re: marriage - sophia 7/31/2008, 7:21 pm
All Stressed Out - Help! - Steve 7/22/2008, 1:10 pm
- Re: All Stressed Out - Help! - Lily 8/1/2008, 10:58 am
- Re: All Stressed Out - Help! - Joy 7/23/2008, 12:26 am

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You can recover from the pain

You can recover from the pain, loss, despair. Get started with "After the Affair", a short article based on over 30 years of professional practice in marriage and family therapy.

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