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Posted by LAUREN
on 3/18/2005, 3:04 pm, in reply to "Re: sad"
65.248.132.2
I UNDERSTAND THE WITHOLDING OF SEX, IT IS SUCH A SICK THING. I COULDN'T UNDERSTAND FOR THE LIFE OF ME WHY MY EX DID THAT. ALL I KNEW WAS THAT IT FELT FREAKY, IT WOULD MAKE ME VERY INSECURE. I UNDERSTAND SO MUCH ABOUT WHAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH AND MY HEART GOES OUT TO YOU. REMEMBER IT IS NOT YOU IT IS HIS ABUSE. TAKE ONE STEP AT A TIME TO GET OUT. I WAS IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH ABUSE ABOUT EVERY 2-3 WEEKS AND EXCELLENT THE REST OF THE TIME, IT IS SO DIFFICULT I LEFT 1 MONTH AGO, AND AT TIMES I HAVE TO FIGHT GOING BACK BUT IT HAS BEEN A MONTH AND I JUST KEEP MOVING FORWARD I MISS ALL THE GOOD TIMES IN BETWEEN BUT THE BAD AWFUL THINGS THIS MAN SAID TO ME I HAVE SCARS THAT I JUST CAN'T SHAKE I WALK AROUND IN PAIN AND AM WORKING WITH A THERAPIST. HE WAS ALL ABOUT POWER AND CONTROL AND MANIPULATION. I CANNOT BELIEVE SOME OF THE AWFUL THINGS THAT WERE FLUNG AT ME, HE EVEN HATED THE WAY I ATE, HE SAID HE RAN AWAY FROM PEOPLE LIKE ME. I WAS OUT OF CONTROL HE TOLD ME, LAZY, ALL I DO IS SLEEP, MY SISTER IS UGLY, MY MOTHER IS A ROTTEN COOK, ETC... THINGS THAT I WOULD NEVER IN MY LIFE SAY TO SOMEONE. AND IN BETWEEN HE WAS WONDERFUL COULD NEVER ASK FOR ANYONE BETTER. SO MIXED UP. OH WELL THANKS FOR LISTENING AND SOMETIMES JUST RELATING TO EACH OTHER HELPS. I PRAY FOR EVERYONE ON THIS SITE. LOVE & LIGHT, LAUREN
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