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Posted by muslimah on 7/30/2003, 5:16 am, in reply to "Do You Ever Regret Leaving?"
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hello, your situation mirrors me really well. I left my well known husband from a large town over one year ago with 2 small children to the very small town where I grew up. The children see their grandparents, everyday. A huge culture shock for me too. I have come back at age 37 as a muslim who covers her head, to a small conservative town. I explored college options for myself, and even online degrees, but so far nothing has been possible. Finances are very hard too, and I have had to turn to churches for help with food and clothes. I still have not been able to get my things from 3 hours away, though I have been to court many times. The divorce still has not gone through. I have no contact with my husband and full orders of protection. I understand your lonliness and doing everything for him. I dropped out of RN school, Cosmetology school, etc. several times to help my husband further his financial projects. The court is telling me that I will have to supervise my husbands visits with the kids soon. It will be in public, but I dred facing him again and him trying to suck me back in. My husband is trying financially to lure me back in, but of course only if I would move to his town and be his wife again. I actually hit really low last week when I became very very ill and was in the hospital, and am unable to work for a couple of months. Thank goodness for the child support. My lawyer called today and is putting off the divorce for maybe a month, because she said with me so ill right now, I would look like an unfit mother in court, even though I have voluminous Domestic Violence evidence. Once this is all through, my divorce, and I get my things, I still feel obligated to my parents who my husband tried to shut out for so many years. My mother has helped me emotionally this last year and we have grown close, but I still feel like she smothers me. I would like to move one hour away to a bigger Islamic community, but feel guilty. Parents are pressuring me to buy a house here as soon as the divorce goes through. I could never go back to my soon to be ex husband. I will never forgive him for his continued infidelity - he has no idea that I know. That really hurt me, more than the severe abuse. Thank you for posting your very clear message. Please continue to post. May God be with you.
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