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Posted by Hurting
on 7/19/2003, 9:06 am
64.12.96.107
I met Nick in Feb 2002, i was just about to turn 20, everything was fine for the first day or 2, then someting wierd happened. On the 3rd night, we went to the store to get recordable CD's because he said he needed them because him and his friends paid for some demo time and was making a cd. well when we got back to our destination, and went inside, The Cd's weren't in the bag, only a bunch of Candy we didnt buy. Nick freaked out, he was throwing anything in his hand, he had this wierd look of determination to hurt someone, i got scared and told him i was leaving, that im not used to someone acting that way and i want to go, he apologized. We went back and got the CD's, and gave the store back the Candy, Nick thought the lady purposley tricked him, which could be possible, but no reason to act in such a way.
Well on the way home he was acting like he was on the phone with some guy who he paid for the demo time from his studio,saying hes sorry he missed going and that atleast the guy made money for nothing, i find out months later he wasnt on the phone with anyone,he lied just to make me feel bad. Well i'm 21 now, had my birthday a few weeks back, nick made it misserable. He didnt want me to go out with my friends, he eventually ended up at the club telling me leave with him now or its over, so i told him its over, but he stayed and apologized. Over the past year and 1/2 he has gotten worse. He has choked me, pushed me, grabed my legs and put them in terrible holds so i wont fight back. I know i make the mistake of hitting back, and i shouldn't. He called me a b###h last night because i caught him sneaking a conversation online with a girl. He told me i was a b###h and a dumbass. I have left many times, but i keep coming back. He threw me on the couch last night because i told him if he hurts me i will have my b/f come after him. So he threw me on the couch and said have him come after me , i will shoot him. He skinned up my right elbow from it. He said are you ok, i said yes, and he said , don't ever threaten me. This morning when the alarm went off he turned it off and sat it down and fell back asleep. well i wake up 30 minutes later and tell him hes late.
####ing thanks Candi, thats what he says.
Why do you make me ####ing late all the time.
( i'm 21, im not his mother ) i wake up on my own and go to work.
Hes gone now, he finally left for work, now i sit here in pain, i know my family wants me to come home. But i love Nick, i'm not in love with him though. True love doesnt hurt like this. I want out. I don't want t be here when he calls and apologizes to me saying he will make it up.
Please someone , anyone help me. I have never in my whole life been around someone like him. He always thinks someones out to hurt him, so he carries knives around and pepper spray, he even bought a gun. I don't know what to do, everytime i leave to go back home with my parents, i get upset because he comes online and talks to girls, then hours later he calls me and begs me back.
I miss my life before him. His mom is an alcoholic and is verbally abused regulary by her boyfriend, nicks dad died of a heart attack when nick was about 18. Hes almost 23 now. He drank alot too.
Nick doesnt drink alot , but he has all this anger. It gets taken out on me.
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