Posted by John Dycke
on 1/2/2005, 2:21 am, in reply to "Side Affect"
24.69.255.237
Hi . My prolactinoma was discovered in 1985. Is that long ago enough 
It was 7 CM and resided in my sinus cavity going around my carteroid arterie and causing blindness for awhile etc. Many other problems. Ive been on all the drugs and had radiation 4 years ago. In that 4 years Ive been on an emotional( mind you it has always been an emotional thing also.....you know hormones....) roller coaster ride and gained 40 or 50 lbs.
Once your pitutary is damaged or destroyed it seems your body never functions properly again not physically nor mentally. But if you keep a strong fighting back attitude; not allowing it to destroy you .......well life goes on.
Ive waited years to be rid of this thing because no doctors would operate and drugs were my only alie and now after the rad treatments and the change to dostinex the tumour appears to be retreating.I think the radiation has been effective but I wont hold my breath on that.
But the effect of its damage is still with me and as I suppose I get older (I'm 56 now) I will find out what it has instore for me. But I know one thing I will always fight no matter how tired I get or how sore I feel or how dull my brain gets. A war is only won thru its battles and with this you are at war!
I once had a lady on this site tell me I was bitter but the truth is I'm not bitter just tired and sad because I feel this thing took away some of the most precious things in life
from me. I'll never experience having a family,I've never experienced what it was like to have a muscular body and sleeping seems more important then living life because I'm tired all the time.
I like this site because I can talk to people who understand, who are their,and who maybe I can help in some small way; because I know it helps me.
When I get depressed I just take alook around me because their are people who are worse off and I continue on in the best way I can.
After all these years that is a short version of how I feel........sometimes sad, hurt, angry, depressed, self pity, but I'll always be glad that it hasnt killed me! I'll ride that bus instead of standing in front of it.
I suppose it's alot of what you make of it (thats putting it very simple I know) but how can you put it all into words because it evokes so much emotion just by it's very nature.
How do you explain to your friends your weight gain is not your fault that you eat like a bird and exercise as much as you can but people do judge you by the way you look; even when they know you and do not understand. What can you expect 
I look forward to retirement in five years; I've made it this far so I imagine I will make it the rest of the way and I'm sure it will be an adventure or something else
Dont give up keep fighting and make the best of it all . Like the Doctor said it wont kill you and I say it surely can make your life miserable if you let it.
Take care of yourself and all the best; I know you will fight as hard as I have and as all the people who have this dam thing do.
John
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