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Re: Defeated and depressed
I am sorry you are going through this. I was in a very similar situation my first four years and I ended up asking to be put on depression medication. I ended up driving home most days in tears because of how I was treated by one of the other directors. I even tried confronting him about how he made me feel but nothing ever got better. I just , like you said, went to work and went home. I never looked forward to work and the only thing I looked forward to everyday was 4p.m. so I could go home. I finally found a new position at another school and I can actually say I finally enjoy everything about my job. So, I know it's extremely tough but I have faith that you can get through it. I don't know if finding a new job is possible but if it is I would look into it.
I am contemplating resigning. Coming to work is taking every ounce of energy I have. I once loved teaching band but the person I work with is more than just unkind to me. I hate to use this word because I know it is a huge trigger word in public education right now. However, this head director bullies me constantly.
Please don't think I am suggesting I do no wrong and entirely free from blame. I know I do make mistakes, I am human. We all make mistakes and that is one lesson we teach our kids daily. However, there is still a way to approach those you work with in a professional manner.
I feel absolutely defeated on a daily basis. All I am able to do is go to work and come home. I can't handle anything else because I am so unhappy and to be very honest, depressed. I can not wait for the day to be over so I can go home and climb into bed.
To be entirely honest, I love everything about my job except my head director. I get along with everyone else and I do love being a band director. However, I am already absolutely miserable and just do not know if I can make it to the end of the year. I am constantly fighting the inner voice that is telling me to resign.