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Re: Defeated and depressed
I am a head director. We have many jobs but the most important job of all is to create a positive atmosphere throughout the entire band hall in every nook and cranny. Never should anyone be they parents, associates or students, feel as you do no matter what has led up to this feeling you possess. Head directors, like coaches and principals, create the work environment for all who walk into the band hall (school). We are more than teachers. Head band directors are strong societal leaders who are viewed as important to their communities and we should act accordingly no matter all of the ups and downs that go with leading a band program, large or small in any community.
You hold your head up high. You feel good about yourself and your degree. You feel good about what you know and what you will know in the future. You must keep focusing on the kids and parents while you continue to grow or mend the partnership with your head director for the good of the kids to the best of your ability. There may come a time when you feel you must change schools. Maybe it's time for you to give it a go as a head director. Maybe this is a sign.
sorry...i almost got on a rant.
I am contemplating resigning. Coming to work is taking every ounce of energy I have. I once loved teaching band but the person I work with is more than just unkind to me. I hate to use this word because I know it is a huge trigger word in public education right now. However, this head director bullies me constantly.
Please don't think I am suggesting I do no wrong and entirely free from blame. I know I do make mistakes, I am human. We all make mistakes and that is one lesson we teach our kids daily. However, there is still a way to approach those you work with in a professional manner.
I feel absolutely defeated on a daily basis. All I am able to do is go to work and come home. I can't handle anything else because I am so unhappy and to be very honest, depressed. I can not wait for the day to be over so I can go home and climb into bed.
To be entirely honest, I love everything about my job except my head director. I get along with everyone else and I do love being a band director. However, I am already absolutely miserable and just do not know if I can make it to the end of the year. I am constantly fighting the inner voice that is telling me to resign.