I would NEVER ask for his help. Period. For anything or any reason. I would not trust someone like that under any circumstances. Putting your career in his hands like that? That's the WORST thing you could do.
Here's how you salvage your career:
First of... it sounds like this guy wants you gone and he has his mind up.
So, sit him down and be very honest. Don't try to address how he treats you, or what you're doing wrong... none of that, because you will lose that situation and he will document and use it against you.
Instead, let him know that you understand he wants you gone, and you will leave at the end of the year. You promise him that, and tell him that you need his help to find another job. He should agree to be a good reference for you, maybe you go to middle school or make up a lie about a spouse or family member causing you to need to move to another district, and you wish you could stay at your current position (because it sounds like you love the kids and the program...) but you just can't because of xyz reason. People relocate districts or cities all the time because of reasons like that.
In the mean time, tell him that you will do your best to keep things amicable at work, you will try your best and not shirk your duties, and all you ask from him is cooperation and to keep the peace for the remainder of the year.
If he cares at all about his program, he should agree to some extent ... his reputation is on the line here as well.
Hope this helps - all is not lost!
I am contemplating resigning. Coming to work is taking every ounce of energy I have. I once loved teaching band but the person I work with is more than just unkind to me. I hate to use this word because I know it is a huge trigger word in public education right now. However, this head director bullies me constantly.
Please don't think I am suggesting I do no wrong and entirely free from blame. I know I do make mistakes, I am human. We all make mistakes and that is one lesson we teach our kids daily. However, there is still a way to approach those you work with in a professional manner.
I feel absolutely defeated on a daily basis. All I am able to do is go to work and come home. I can't handle anything else because I am so unhappy and to be very honest, depressed. I can not wait for the day to be over so I can go home and climb into bed.
To be entirely honest, I love everything about my job except my head director. I get along with everyone else and I do love being a band director. However, I am already absolutely miserable and just do not know if I can make it to the end of the year. I am constantly fighting the inner voice that is telling me to resign.