If the goal is that she whacks sticks together and enjoys herself, then don't beat yourself up trying to create a all-state musician
This meeting is a good thing - it helps to clarify everything. Go in wtih questions. Your questions won't be annoying if they are centered round thenotion of trying to do what is best for the student. Sounds like no one has really clarified for you what that is.
I agree with the posters below that remind us that the goals will need to be different from what we are used to.